The other end remains silent…
You only hear the dull hum of electricity droning away in the background. That, and the sound of your own tensed breath echoing louder and louder in the silence.
It’s deafening in a way.
That’s when the voice of self-doubt speaks the loudest and fear of the unknown creeps in. You begin to question your abilities and become blinded from greatness.
It feels this way when you take a risk and the initial result falls short. Maybe your expectations were too high, or perhaps the effort too low. Either are possible, and there’s a chance that what you set out to accomplish wasn’t valued to begin with – nobody really cares.
At least that’s what you start to tell yourself.
But there’s somebody listening and following along. There might only be one, but that person is paying attention. They’re seeing you take chances, watching you risk being ignored or ridiculed, and more importantly, noticing your potential for success. They are connecting in some way with whatever dream(s) you’re chasing.
There’s a saying you hear from businesspeople, “Sometimes you have to spend money to make money.”
That applies to taking risks and attempting to reach a goal as well, especially one you believe to be unobtainable. In this case, the currency is vulnerability and pride as opposed to dollars and cents; you have to put yourself out there and face the reality that failure is a real possibility. You must accept that not everyone will praise your work or have any interest in what you’re trying to achieve.
Someone will though, but you won’t know for sure unless you try.
I believe that true happiness is found when you have no regrets. Not the trivial, “I wish I hadn’t eaten that pulled-pork breakfast poutine,” kind of regret, I mean the kind of remorse that keeps you up at night. The kind that gnaws away at your confidence like a termite imbedding itself into a piece of wood. The kind that lasts a lifetime.
Becoming a professional writer and authoring a novel is a dream of mine. A dream I considered to be nothing more than just that, something fun to think about but not legitimately possible. However; my mindset has changed, and not pursuing this particular reverie is something I can’t live with.
My path is a very public one, which means my failures (and successes) will be seen by friends, family, colleagues, and strangers alike.
It’s fucking terrifying.
But I refuse to let fear steer me away from my goal. I’m holding myself accountable online through The Davis Daily in order to drive ahead and prevent myself from giving up.
For those who are following, whether many or few, I encourage you to do the same. Chase your dreams and take chances; you’re capable of more than you realize. Life is too short and too fragile to do otherwise, and success isn’t going to land in your lap. You need to commit, take action, and go for it.
No more half-steps towards the unknown, it’s time to leap forward into a truly fulfilling future!